Breakups are one of the hardest experience you can go through during your life. They can leave you scars and painful memories but they also can make you stronger. They might look as we are never going to recover or like you are never going to be in love again. But trust me, this chapter of your life will pass and you will be happy again.
Meanwhile, there are several things that you can do to help deal with this crisis. Susan J. Elliot in her book "Getting Past Your Breakup. How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You" have a complete list of activities to support you in this process. Nonetheless, there are three that I find extremely useful:
1. Going no contact. you might find a long list of reasons why you should keep in touch with your ex, but doing so will prolong your pain and leave you feeling frustrated. With every encounter, you will experience the breakup over an over again. Avoid all kind of contact! And I will stress these words : ANY KIND!
2. Look for support in your friendship network. Anytime you feel depressed or in despair for contacting your ex, agree with a friend that you will call her/him instead. Remember this song: "that's what friends are for!"
3. Journal. Journaling is one of the most healing activities. Every time you feel bad, you can go to your journal and express all your feelings whether they are positive or negative. Everything will be between you and your journal. The best part of it is that you won't be judge and it will help you to move forward.
I want to believe that Ms. Elliot is right when she says that this devastating loss will be the best thing that ever happened to you. You have to believe it too if you want to overcome pain and find happiness again, but first give you the time for grief and for acceptance.
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